It all went wrong.

Well, it was my birthday, a happy occasion, full of joy and celebration. But it all went wrong.

"Happy Birthday", my husband whispered into my ear at 6am as he was leaving for work. "I've broken the shower" he added. "What, completely broken?" came my half awake response. "Yep, it's totally broken". "Won't it even turn on?". "No. I've got to go now. Love you. See you later.".

So it started badly. I ran a bath and was just getting in when a semi-large arachnid decided to jump in first. At this point, I heard rather larger footstep in the hallway. My son had woken up early and got out of bed (unusual). I got him back into bed and his sister woke up, full of snot and crying.

I let the plug out, and went to get her milk warmed up. She wasn't well bless her, and barely drank anything. Then the boy came in. He'd definitely got out of bed the wrong side and was in a full on grump. He refused to drink his milk too or put his clothes on, or anything which involved him being reasonable. I have 30mins in the morning to get two children up, dressed and out to the childminder, which isn't long. "It's my birthday" I pleaded lamely. "Please just put your clothes on, we need to leave in 5 minutes". We left 10 minutes late (which wasn't too bad all things considered), although I still hadn't had a wash.

As I got into the car, a moment of peace, Elbow playing "One Day Like This" on Radio2. Better, I thought, much better. Today will be fine.

So, shoehorn in over an hour's drive to University, two seminars, one lecture, a meeting with another student, a meeting with a college, over an hour's drive home, picking up two children, sorting out tea, and taking children up to the bath.

Text from husband "Sorry, had to work late, will be home late. x". So, up to the bath we go. The girl sitting in her chair and the boy sitting on the mat, both in the bath. Everything was going swimmingly. Until the girl did something she has never, ever done before. She let rip and did a massive poo, followed by more poo, then more. I grabbed the boy out of the bath, leaving the girl and about a million toys, getting increasingly covered in poo. I started fishing for poo. Which wasn't nearly as much fun as it sounds (who am I kidding, it sounds disgusting). 

At this point, with poo on my hands, the boy turned to me and said "Happy Birthday Mummy".

After much laughter, and with children both in bed, I was taken out for a lovely dinner at The Tempest, The Good Pub Guide's pub of the year 2011. 
It was a fabulous meal. Then, completely stuffed, we got into the car and Elbow were playing 'One Day' live on Radio 2.
It was a lovely end to the day. 

I never did get a wash!

7 comments

  1. Fishing for poo out of the bath is a rite of passage isn't it! But on your birthday that is too much. have another go at it another day. xx

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  2. I have to admit it's not something I've done before. Which is surprising, given I have two children!

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  3. Oh dear, fishing poo out of the bath is not something you want to do on your birthday. Good to hear that it ended well, Happy birthday for yesterday..

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  4. Oh yes ..... have rescued some corkers from the bath. Gross. Glad your day ended well. Happy birthday!

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  5. Ah, children, and life for that matter, are no respecters for the Mummy Birthday or the Mummy Bath. Glad it all came right in the end.

    Oh, and have been poo fishing too and know how much fun it is!

    found you via Love Mummy Blogs btw,

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  6. Thank you all. Yes, at least the day ended well. It's a glamorous life us parents lead eh!

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  7. Oh dear! The days when we used to start getting ready for a night out at 2 in the afternoon are gone forever! I don't think I'd have had the energy to go out after a day like that! Well done
    Thanks so much for joining in the first Showcase at Love Mummy Blogs. Hope to see you there again soon :)

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