My big bottom | Helpful Mum

Thursday, 7 March 2013

My big bottom

Picture the scene, if you will, but don't picture it too well, if you know what I mean. I am sitting on the toilet in our cramped downstairs loo. I have been sitting there for approximately 5 seconds. I am alone. Then, I hear a patter of small feet approaching at speed. My three year old son opens the door and stands next to the toilet, in the doorway.

"Yes darling"
"Mummy, are you doing a wee or a poo?"
"A poo, precious"
"Poos come out of your bottom"
"Yes. Yes they do"
"And wees come out of willies"
"Well, some do. But mine doesn't because I am a girl and girls don't have willies"
A considered pause.
"I have a willy mummy" 
He thoughtfully pulls his pants down to show me the evidence of this fact.
"Look, see mummy. That's my willy."
"Yes it is"
"Yes darling"
"Mummy, you have a big bottom"
"It is bigger than yours, yes"
"And your bottom moves when I touch it"
"Does my bottom move when I touch it?"
He hits himself on the bottom.
"No. Mine doesn't. It's just yours that does mummy".

+If you want more of a giggle, check out the other posts who are linking up to wot so funnee here.

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