Dear Santa...

As you may or may not have gathered, I am at my Mum's house at the moment. She has just moved and, as such, we are going through loads of boxes and deciding what we need to keep and what can swiftly be disposed of. I'm finding a lot of my old things, including this rather worrying letter to Santa!

Monday September 10th 1990 (age 8)
To: Santa Claus
North Pole

Dear Santa

I would like my sister Megan to have a Sindy that blew up when you took her clothes off.

I would like my stepmother to have a dog that shot bullets out of his ears when she stroked his tail.

I would like Jessica to have a Sylvanian horse that tidies up Jessicas room. Then Jessica would not have to tidy her room.

I would like my cousin to have a stink bomb so that she would not know when it would go off an it would suddenly go off in her house.

I would like my sister to have a toy chicken that laid sweets then Katherine would eat the sweets.

I would like John Major to sit on a whoopee cushion at a conservative party meeting.

Thank you

A bit of background, my youngest sister was always doing my head in. There are three and a half years between us and we clashed.

My stepmother was pretty nasty. I think wanting a dog which could kill her whilst she was being nice to it wouldn't have been such a bad thing! That way I wouldn't go to prison as it would have been the dogs fault.

I liked Jessica. Her room was a tip because she had just moved house. Hopefully this proves I could also be nice!

My cousin threw my favourite doll ever (Julie) down the stairs at her house. Not sure I have ever forgiven her. A stink bomb might have helped.

Katherine, my other sister is disabled and we have always been pretty close.

I think the final thing on my list sums me up completely. Even at the age of 8, I wanted politics to be fun!