Monday, 17 October 2011


Do you believe in fate?

During my first week of lectures, I met an 18 year old in my economics class who asked me if I regretted leaving school at 16. She seemed surprised when I said no. However, in my mind, what happened in my past, made me who I am today, so how could I possibly regret it? I went on to say that I wouldn't have met my husband if I had stayed at school. She insisted that I definitely would have met him, claiming, 'but if it is fate, if he is 'the one' then you would have met him at some point'. 'But I wouldn't, I replied. Our paths wouldn't have crossed'. She was adamant that we would have met (if he really is the one).

Now, no offence to my husband, but there can't possibly be 'the one' can there? I am sure that if I hadn't met my husband, I would have met a similarly nice man who made me laugh, be my best friend, have a good sex life with and grow old with. Does this make me sceptical? I don't think so. There are so many studies into what we look for in a  partner, how we subconsciously suss out their genetics pretty early on to see if we would be compatible. We even base our decisions on smell, sometimes knowingly (learn to use deodorant), sometimes not. Even down to the fact that we apparently choose partners with different immune systems to us, so that we are rarely ill at the same time, and our children become some kind of amazingly immune generation.

I know that when I met my husband, at just turned 17, I was pretty sure that one day we would get married. An odd concept for a 17 year old to get their head around, but I don't think I ever thought 'this is it, he is 'the one', we will get married and have many children'. To me, the notion that there is one person and one person alone in the world who is right for you, is mind-blowing. How long do you have to keep searching before you find that one person? What if you never find them?

I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I've yet to find out what that reason is though! If I had stayed at school, done my A-levels and gone to university, I can't see how I possibly would have met my husband. He would have started his first job just as I started my A-levels and I would have been a completely different person to the one I am now. The only answer I could come up with to my fellow student is that university is right for me now. This adventure would, quite possibly, have been too overwhelming when I was 18, but at 29, the time is right and I am ready to work hard!


  1. I too believe in fate and that everything happens for a reason. Good or bad it is what shapes our present. Great post x

  2. I believe everything happens for a reason, I don't believe that you would have met your other half if you had done different things as a teenager, but i do believe he may be your 'one' and that is why you left school early, simular to me, I too met my other half at 16 and left school at 17.. and like you I do not regret it for it is why I am who I am today :)

  3. Interesting thoughts! I often think that my future was decided when I went to a University show while I was in the 6th form. Something made me pick up the brochure for Nottingham Uni, which was further away than other places I was looking, and yet I ended up there, which is where I met my husband. If I had gone to another university, I can't see that our paths would ever have crossed, and in all likelihood I would now be settled down quite happily with someone else. I just can't believe that there is only one person for everyone, it just seems impossible given the number of people in the world.
    Although I suppose it's possible that we could have met otherwise, perhaps through mutual friends. Something that we'll never know! It reminds me of one of my favourite songs - Something Changed by Pulp.

  4. Saw this post a while back and have been meaning to comment....

    I have to agree with you on this one. I am sure if i had done things differently i would have meet someone similar to my husband. We all instinctively look for certain features, ideals, beliefs in choosing our partners so i am sure i would of found them in someone else.. So is he the one, my soul mate, whatever "soul mate" means???

    things do happen for a reason but is it fate... i am not sure...


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