Monday, 7 November 2011

Women! Know your place.

We are our own worst enemy. Fact. Why are parents (and mums in particular) so precious and determined that their way is the right way to bring up children? Why do we judge others poorly if they don't do things the same way that we do, or if they don't follow specific guidelines about their child?

We are bombarded with information when we have children. There are so many studies, reports, inquiries and research done with hand-picked statistics specifically chosen to back up the outcome which was wanted all along. If we saw all the statistics, I reckon you could chose an outcome to suit your view on life, rather than the response that the company has come up with.

If you listened to everything you read, and followed it to the book, you would end up living a contradiction. I am fairly certain that in some people's eyes, there is nothing we are ever going to do right as parents.

I am not claiming to be perfect, I muddle through with the best of them. Being a parent is tough. When you have a baby it is such a shock to the system. I had friends who were openly outraged with me for returning to work 11 months after I had my son. They couldn't comprehend that I was bored out of my brain and I needed to be at work. That sitting at toddler sing and sign was hell on earth to me. I have the utmost respect for mothers who stay at home, because it is not something I think I could have done. But that is what is right for me.

Wouldn't it be lovely if we all did the same things, weighed the same amount, all had an equal amount of age-dependant wrinkles, brought our children up to be equally similar? No. It would be rubbish. There would be no zing in life. Our differences make us appealing to each other. It is a parent's right to bring up their children how they see fit (and before you start, yes, I mean within reason and the law). I have a friend who is a homoeopath, and, whilst I wouldn't bring my children up the same way she does hers, I don't judge her because of it. Similarly, I have a friend whose child has both parents wrapped around her little finger because she always gets what she wants. It's not my place to comment on how they bring up their child because it is up to them.

I worked on a mental health ward and had a bit of trouble with my manager at the time because of my views on equality (namely that we should all be treated with an equal amount of respect no matter who you are or your position). The Consultant Psychiatrist I worked for taught me one of the most valuable responses ever: 'You might be right'. This covers all bases. When you are criticised by someone else, instead of getting obviously annoyed, just say 'you might be right' and leave it at that. What can they come back at you with? Pretty much nothing. When you receive catty comments about your parenting techniques, 'you might be right', is your response.

So, here's to the future. Women. Know your place. Bite your tongue when you go to criticise another parent. Give up with the snide remarks. You're not doing yourself any favours. If it's me you're putting down, expect one response, and one only.

You might be right.


  1. I always assume everyone else's parenting is much better than mine! Probably because we're all monuments of restraint and kindliness in front of other people and only let rip behind our own front doors.

  2. yes, i agree. I have to bite my tongue when it comes to my own mother.

  3. I will be using it. Thanks for sharing, share your views completely :) xxx

  4. Just read your post and - you might be right!

  5. Sorry couldn't resist. Will remember that for next time. I usually go for a "hmmmmm....really?" with raised eyebrows.
    Great post. I think parenting is just a really emotive subject.

  6. Nice post. Really liked it. Parenting is a really hard task. Thanks for sharing.

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