The Photo Gallery - Me

The Photo Gallery - Week

This week's gallery theme seems to have come at a time when my feeling about 'me' is not so enthusiastic. I don't get phases like this often, but when I do I have to grapple with myself to get out of them.

Here I am, it's me. I am a bit fed up and feeling a little sorry for myself. I'd had a decent day and then received some disappointing news, which was seemingly enough to chuck me into a spell of self-loathing, or more like blog-loathing.

The first blog conference I ever went to was Cybher, and I met the lovely Tara Cain. I was surrounded by amazing bloggers and totally doubting myself. Tara told me just to do what I love and not to compare myself to others. I have stuck to this and have always been happy with my blog and my little space of the internet. However, I have taken some hard knocks recently, when I have applied for things and not got them, or when others have started things which I am already doing. I have put my heart and soul into my blog recently and I am disappointed that I clearly don't make the cut in so many different ways. I know that I am happy with my blog, but it is becoming increasingly obvious that I don't fit in, that my blog isn't quite right, not what people are looking for. I know the past year had an impact, but I simply couldn't spend as much time as I would have liked on my blog due to university, grandma's cancer and moving house.

I am struggling. All my peers from university are either studying for a masters, travelling or working in jobs they love. I am working in a B&B and not getting paid (long story). I just feel like I am lacking any kind of appreciation for what I do, or the time I spend doing it. I don't know what to do. I don't want this to be the end, and I still enjoy what I am doing, but I need to aim higher, to work harder in order to achieve recognition. It might just be easier to start again, with a new blog. I don't know. I just feel so dispirited and that is unlike me. 

There is so much I would like to do. I want to speak at conferences, not just listen, I want to be one of those bloggers who is actually picked for things. My stats are good, my followers are good, I have lovely readers (thank you), I know I am doing so many things right, which is why it feels so confusing that I am clearly going wrong somewhere. I don't want pity, I'm not looking for compliments, I just want to do it right.

I know I will snap out of it, but I also know I need to improve. And I shall.

To see what others have come up with for this week's theme, click on the image below.

Sticky Fingers Photo Gallery