Personal success and supporting others

Personal success is just that, personal. We each have our own goals to achieve, targets to aim for. It could be that success for you right now is getting out of your pyjamas and dressing gown and putting some clothes on. Goodness only knows that was success in my book when I had a newborn. Success could be achieving a Masters. It could be earning money from your blog. Success is subjective, and we all put different values on it. So isn't it about time that we stopped using those values to judge others?

When the Mumsnet Bloggers Network shortlist was announced I was sad to see a level of bitchiness towards the writing styles of those shortlisted in the best writer category. Now those writing styles might not be the same as yours. They might not be the kind of blog that you want to read, but it doesn't make them any less worthy of being in that shortlist. Indeed, that very shortlist was put together by Lionel Shriver! I guess you are also belittling her judging ability when you question her shortlist. We seem far too quick to judge, to put people down and not congratulate them. They have worked hard. The very fact that their blogs are there means they deserve to be there.

It's okay to be disappointed not to be in that shortlist. I was disheartened not to be shortlisted in the vlogging category, but to me that is an indicator that I need to up my game in order to compete. It certainly doesn't entitle me to bitch about the people who were finalists. In fact, I love all the vloggers they chose and regularly watch their channels.  I want to see them do well because they are great at what they do and have worked hard at it.

One of the elements I have struggled the most with in blogging is the bitchiness. The fact that people moan about other bloggers behind their back and then are lovely in person to them. It reminds me of school, and there was a reason I left school at 16! I am not very good at confrontation. I like fairness and equality and I seek it out at all times. I don't think more successful bloggers should be treated (by other blogger) any differently to brand new bloggers, but they should certainly be respected for the fact that they are at the top of their game.

Success should be celebrated, not bitched about. It should be congratulated, not grumbled about. Success is inspiring, be it yours or someone else's. You can choose to see others' success as an inspiration for you to achieve more, or you can bad mouth someone and feel rubbish about your blog because you weren't chosen. I know which one I prefer!

Some of my most inspirational meetings have been with successful women. You can leave an event feeling on top of the world and high with new determination. It's an incredible feeling. So why don't we start celebrating success, however big or small. I am going to start by wishing all the finalists for tomorrow's awards huge good luck. You are all amazing.

As my grandma used to say, if you really can't say anything nice, then don't say it at all. I leave you with this quote from the Twits and hope that your sunbeams shine out tomorrow!